Week 2 Results

 

Factories of Sadness 

The original is in Cleveland thanks to this 2011 rant by Cleveland comedian Mike Polk: 

https://youtu.be/tRBDMMVctu8

JP will verify that this nickname has been well-earned over the years:

• There are the losses with names: Red Right 88, The Drive, The Fumble, the Dwayne Rudd Helmet Toss. 

• Or the time the Browns kicked a game-winning field goal Monday Night Football in 2015. The only problem is that it was a walk-off for the other team: the Ravens blocked the kick and returned it for a kick-six touchdown. 

So of course they somehow lost a game with a 99.9% win probability because:

• One of their star running backs ran out of bounds in the closing minutes

• Then he did it again

• Then the other star running back scored a TD when sliding would have ended the game

• Then they missed the PAT

• Then they gave up a 66 yard touchdown pass… and an onside kick… and the game-winning touchdown drive

Maybe this is karma because they sold their football soul to a player who is creepy at best, criminal at worst. Or maybe it’s just some cosmic correction for deciding that Brownie the Elf would make a good midfield logo. It’s almost like they saw a script from the same agency that did this commercial for Snickers, and didn’t realize that it was satire:

Or maybe the reason for the loss is simply bad coaching and stupid playing.  

Do you know what else was bad and stupid? Thinking that this was a great week to use Cleveland in Wallyball.

Steve Gee’s Five-Star Lock of the Week 

is now 0-2 for the season thanks to the Broncos and Browns. Apologies to Andy and Al, who have taken the bait twice this season and have followed me to the cellar.

In any other season, I would have some combination of anger, frustration, incredulity, and resignation over the Browns’ debacle. Instead, probably because of the Watson nonsense, I feel… nothing. Maybe Wally and my wife Tara have room for me on the Chiefs’ bandwagon.

Hold My Beer

Jay B has his own factory of sadness, thanks to Mr. Not Ready for Prime Time Player Kirk Cousins.  The Vikings quarterback lived down to his Monday Night Football reputation with two interceptions in the end zone and a third one at the Philly 13. His performance was sadly predictable.

Fortunately, Jay has no misery in Wallyball.  He’s now 2-0 thanks to choosing the right week to pick Denver. Jose and Scott I also rode the Broncos to a 2-0 start, while Scot and Gregory were able to enter the win column thanks to Denver.

There is no sadness

only joy on the top of the leaderboard, where once again Gil is off to a solid 2-0 start.  He won his first 14 games in 2020 and his first 8 last year. At the moment he has company from Scott K, JP, Ryan, Carter plus the three others mentioned earlier.

Super Bowl Sadness

Historically the Super Bowl loser incurs a season of sadness the following season, and the Bengals are proving to be no exception.  In week one, Doug and Eric were bitten by an inexplicable 3 point loss at home to the Pittsburgh Trubiskys. Surely they wouldn’t lose to a Dallas team with Central Michigan’s Cooper Rush at quarterback making only his second career start? Surely they would! Sorry Dave, Paul, Wally, and Colin who are keeping us company in the Winless Lounge. (it sounds better than basement or cellar).

There is no curse attached to the Super Bowl winner, and even if there were, playing the Falcons should  more-than-offset this.  Greg, Ryan, Bret, Jay K, and JP banked on it. And like the Bank of Wally- they won.

Bold Pick of the Week

For those unfamiliar with the honor- it goes to the person who (we think) was trying to win but did not choose one of the more obvious teams that week. At last check, the monetary prize was valued at 20 centavos.

Not only is Carter unbeaten, but he earned this week’s BPOW because he was the only person to take the Lions. I don’t know if Carter’s confidence in Detroit came from watching Hard Knocks, but nothing says GRIT like bold selections in a football pool.

Best Pick of the Week

Another coveted prize guaranteed to make you rich is the other BPOW. Congrats to Linden and Doug, who were the only two people to pick Buffalo this week.  That 34-point margin of victory did a lot to offset last week’s loss and bring them near the top in terms of point differential.

This week’s Seinfeld award 

There are four others of us with a win and a loss so far: Tim, Eric and Bret- who got there via victory, and Cheryl- who didn’t. Apparently Seahawks’ magic only works against bad coaches. If there is a silver lining it’s that the loss keeps her on track to regain her 50% crown from 2020. Unfortunately, when she won, it was a $0 for 50% prize instead of the current $50 for 50%.

That’s it for this week.  Please feel free to post comments below.  We’ll open a separate Week 3 discussion thread once all the picks are in.

Good luck!